Life Goes On

My mother-out-law was in Michigan last weekend. Judy asked if we were having problems with the blog again. She was probably concerned that bugs had returned to the apple. But this time, that isn’t the reason, I haven’t published anything in two weeks.

I tried to write about the silence and the guilt. I tried to write about the strange dreams and scary nightmares. It was oddly comforting to vent, but the outcome wasn’t enjoyable to read. I thought of a tribute page with excerpts from the emails and cards we received, but Brian advised me that those were sent in private, not for publication. I tired to write about Lucy, and the laughs that she was still capable of extracting from us. But I couldn’t stay in the moment long enough.

But even without the blogging, slowly and surely life went on.

My sister Karen brought her family and our Mom over for Mother’s day. We had a simple cookout and kept the sadness to a minimum. Last Saturday, we drove to Holland to see Judy and Len who were visiting from Phoenix in their Prius. Lunch at the Journeyman Cafe in Fennville was great and pizza at the original Fricanno’s in Grand Haven was just as good, in a very different way. We even saw 6 foot 2 nephew Alex in a soccer game. The best part of the trip was that Lucy sat between us the 3 hours there and the entire 3 hours back. A paw on the hand brake, her gaze out the front window, just like Anioł in her younger days. Just like Ani.

Brian left for the West coast early the next day. That morning I opened an email from Alicia Reyes, our ex-next door neighbor and our only friends in Adrian. She had sent it while we were in Holland. “Will you both be home tomorrow afternoon? The kids have something for you all to remember Aniol”

A happy reason to clean the house. They arrived, on schedule, as the clock chimed 4, Alicia, her husband Santos, their two big Goldens and Jose and Marcia.

The kids and the dogs had brought over a memorial plaque. Alicia handed to me while Jose and Marcia were playing with Lucy and Sophie. “I’ll wait until the kids are here,” I said. “No,” this perfect mom warned, “it will make them cry. They were crying over it at home.” So, raised almost right, I did as I was told. Then I teared up. I have a feeling Alicia was taking care of me too.

Then Marcia came in, and also raised right, noticed I hadn’t opened the card. So I did.

“Losing a pet is losing a good friend” the card said. And inside, “Hope time will help to ease your sorrow.” It was signed “Jose + Sueño and Marcia + Sonya”, the dogs signed too, of course.

Their gift now lays in the garden, right in front of the Blessed Virgin. I visit it every time I am out with Lucy and Sophie. (I can’t refer to them as simply “the dogs”, not yet). Having this wonderful group of people join me and the rest of all of you who remember Ani was a very healing moment. When we first moved to Adrian almost 8 years ago, Marcia and Jose were still toddlers. The kids learned to trust the black dog in our yard and the black dog learned to trust them.

Their memories of her join mine and Brian’s and everyone else’s. There’s a great big black fluffy fur-ball of memories for me to hold onto. I thank them and I thank everyone who remembers her for reminding me of all the joy she brought to life.

The visit itself reminds me that life and love go on, with or without us. For now, I’ll take the with.

In memory of a faithful friend and companion, rest in peace.

--David