If You See Me Walking Down the Street

When I was a kid and I got to go to the Hospital Emergency Room for a broken collar bone, I thought it was VERY exciting. Even when I had to take Brian in for a food allergy intervention ten years ago it was a bit of a rush.
Now I feel a little bit differently.

Over the past few months, I’ve talked about little else: Stroke, Stroke, Stroke. I must sound like the guy in the bow of the boat yelling to his team. For the last six months, I’ve thought about little else. Myself, my condition, my limitations: me, me, me. But now I can get around better. I am still messed up BUT I have started to get out of the house.

Therein lies the rub. You, dear reader, may happen to see me soon. I am compelled to yell out to my team, give some direction, WARN you what to expect.

I wobble. Remember how I used to walk on that rare, rare occasion when I had a little too much to drink? It looks a little like that but slower, more deliberate and more careful of obstacles. The subject of alcohol brings me to my next point

I drink a lot less. One beer can last me a very long time. It’s economical. I’m a cheap date. I already walk funny (see above) so the end visual effect is the same.

I don’t smoke at all, do you think it’s related? Not smoking is the one piece of advice I got from spending weeks in the hospital and thousands of Brian’s dollars. The house, the cars and the dogs all smell better now or at least more natural.

I don’t control my emotions like I used to. (it is a good thing I drink less.) I will sob during the most inane TV shows. I will chuckle uncontrollably like a 3rd grade kid in the back of a classroom. I can’t stop. It’s kind of fun, as long as I can breathe.

That's the good side. (It is?) The bad side: I can also easily loose my temper. The Banks? WHEW! Can't find my wallet? WHOA! Poor Brian had seen this a lot. Can be entertaining,(well, to ME, once the storm has passed).

I lost my BIG laugh. It’s just gone. It’s not that I don’t think things aren’t funny, (see above), It’s just not there any more. So if you liked it, heed the warning, remember to enjoy things while you can. If it bothered you, relax, it’s gone.

Although it takes me longer, I am happy to do the things that would have driven me crazy before. I can happily sit there and find stones in the lawn and toss them back on the path. I learned patience as a patient. I had no choice. I learned that fuming and swearing at 6 in the morning don’t make Lattes from Starbucks and a NYTimes magically appear. It was much like breaking a horse, but I learned. E-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y.

I’m fatter. In the hospital I discovered that I couldn’t hold-in my stomach. (Yet another indignity of a nurse assisted shower.) I have gotten better control of my core “muscles” but I am still fatter. Benefit: no padding required to play Santa. Disadvantage: reliance on sweat suits.

Consider this a warning.

I am sure that there are other changes to my appearance/demeanor. (like I talk funny, I tire quicker, I sleep more, I’m addicted to facebook) If anyone would like to add to the list, it would be appreciated.

Ah, the brain, it’s full of mystery. I am living proof. If You’re listening, thanks for that.

- - - David